“Tightrope walkin:” delirium kicking in after the aforementioned things below occurred. The act of thinking you are walking a straight line, yet you are actually creating impressive zig zags into and around fellow passengers.
Getting out of the country is always a precarious thing, especially when it entails leaving Israel. With buses on top of trains, with some walking for good measure, you only arrive as far as the security line.
For those of you who have never traveled to Israel, here are some tips to help you prepare for the interrogation.
#1. If you are in a rush, that’s a bummer because no one else cares.
#2. If you don’t like lines… great because they don’t exist and you’ll be waiting forever.
#3. If you like to smile… just don’t.
There are 3 separate security checkpoints at Ben Gurion airport and if you fail the first one you are guaranteed to be spending your airport venture having your life questioned, bags unpacked, and in a perpetual state of “oh shit.”
I have traveled in and out of Israel many times and have only managed to escape this security nightmare once. That time I was fortunate enough to get a girlfriend out of the deal too. It was the crucial moment when we approached the counter the agent stated, “what’s the relation here?” My nonchalant statement that she was my girlfriend might of shocked her, although to her credit she recovered quickly. Luckily having a plus one was sufficient enough to bypass security and the extra scrutiny involved. Unfortunately, that was not this trip. Something about my green eyes, brown hair and lack of an Israeli accent have security convinced I can’t be trusted. But in all seriousness, if you look “different” or have had the privilege to get your passport decorated with the colorful stamps of countries Israel deems unworthy you’re fucking screwed. Don’t worry you’ll make it out, but it won’t be fun. And I’m continually left wondering why I keep coming back.
Take it from the expert, take a deep breath, don’t freak out, and enjoy the people watching as you spend your hours being interrogated.
“Who really packed your bags before you decided to travel to the holy land?”
“Do you have family in Israel?”
“What does this say… שלום” —
“What is the name of your rabbi’s second cousin?”
This is where our journey really began. In that line at 22:00 balancing between frustration, hangry, and utter confusion as our whole world was analyzed, questioned, and turned upside down. Shout out to Elise who managed to do it all wrong, fumbling through every question. I watched the wheels turn as she tried to formulate the answer to the first question while she tried not to laugh, cry or hulk out all at the same time.
But slights aside traveling in, around, and outside of Israel itself, has some major benefits…location, location, location. As the chef in my house always says, “we are already halfway there.”
More to the point, the glorious sight of Mt. Kilimanjaro is within reach, in approximately 6 hours, 20 minutes, and 18 seconds. Who’s counting though?
It’s only cost me my digestive tract—> thanks Malarone, a nights sleep, and a few thousand dollars. If this is all it costs, in my point of view it’s well worth it.
All and all, stoked for the upcoming adventures and experiences to come. Check out the links below to support the process, the country, and most importantly your sense of adventure! But in the meantime enjoy living vicariously through our travels as we try and create our own path. #tightropewalkin
